February 20th will, for the rest of my life, simply be known as The Day Hunter Left Us. There is no blame, no anger anymore, only acceptance, forgiveness, love, peace, and compassion for what he went through for all of us. A day to celebrate one of my true heroes, like the Buddha, Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, the list goes on and on. But Hunter was different, for he never took the path of least resistance, of passivity.
And that’s where I come in, and how I came to love Hunter so much. I have always been the outspoken black sheep of my own family, misaligned, misunderstood, and always told “I had an attitude, a chip on my shoulder”. I always had to do things the hard way, suffer the most, in order to learn the most (sometimes learning the same lesson over and over again over decades).
So when I was 15 yrs old and everything was starting to change for me, my eyes were being opened to the true ways of the world, sex, drugs, rock and roll and so on, my older brother handed me a copy of Fear and Loathing and my mind was forever blown.
That there could exist someone in the world who flew in the face of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that he came in contact with, blew in and out like a tornado and didn’t give a FUCK what anyone thought of him ever, I was hooked, I was in. I would be a soldier for such a person, are you kidding me? Hunter was singing my song - so you really COULD live without giving fucks and do what you want! Yes! I devoured everything I could find at my local library about him. When I found out he lived in Woody Creek, CO, that’s where I was going to move someday. And although I DID end up moving to the mountains of Colorado in late 1990 and have been here ever since, I never quite made it to Woody Creek to meet my hero (Aspen’s a little expensive this time of year don’t you know dahling).
No, I was busy raising my kids and being mom and girlfriend. I simply couldn’t be bothered at that time to drive the 3 1/2 hrs to Woody Creek to sidle up to my writing and life mentor at the WCT and say hi and how much I admired him. He would be there for years to come, I said, I’ll have time.
And so of course along with the rest of the Gonzo world, we were all crushed beyond words when news reached us in the early morning hours of February 21st that Hunter was gone. By his own hand, as many suspected it would go down. We just never wanted to actually believe he would really do it and leave us. But that day had to come, as it does for us all.
It wasn’t until Hunter’s passing and I heard that The Colonel and Anita were building the Gonzo fireworks cannon and there was going to be a huge celebration that I made the decision right then and there that I was going, one way or another, I would be there. And I was (which you can read here: https://goingoingonzo.blogspot.com/2006/02/fear-and-loathing-in-pitkin-county_20.html )
So February 20th? It will always be frigid, no matter where I am in the world. I will always feel cold, will always miss you, will always have a missing piece, and damn sure am NEVER going to stop saying the things that still need to be said. NEVER stop standing up for justice and what is right, holding our government and its wormlike politcians accountable for their decisions that affect all of us, NEVER stop fighting for equality and a solution to the soullessness and greedy selfishness that has taken over here in the United States of America. Never will I stop. We are all in this together, y’all, and so I say to you - what are YOU going to do, NOW, TODAY, in your little corner of the world, to be part of the solution and not the problem?
Long live Hunter S. Thompson, and all of us that continue the fight in his honor. I love you HST, wherever your energy resides now. You bought the ticket and took the ride, at your own expense, your body paid the ultimate price, and you did it for the sake of the rest of us, so that we would not be on the front lines bearing the brunt, the sheer weight of the world. For you so loved us that much.
