"The question is not, 'Why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be', but 'Why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?'" - Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It's true. We make tons of excuses and usually blame others or the circumstances in our life for why we are never happy or never become the people we see inside of our own heads, that is, if we even dare to dream it at all. I am no different. Spent my whole life doing it, in fact. But now I am so happy and grateful to say - NO MORE!!
I have been RELEASED from the prison of self loathing, guilt, blame, shame, doubt, no self esteem or confidence. And with this I release from my life all of the negativity that goes with all of those things. I have carried negative energy inside of me for the past 36 yrs., from the time I was 15 yrs. old, blaming EVERYONE else for my woes. I ESPECIALLY release all of the negative, unloving, unsupportive, ego driven, abusive, controlling, selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, absolutely HORRIBLE douchebag men I have attracted to me and surrounded myself with and worn like a cloak of no worth in the world for all of these years. I have seen myself through those eyes, the eyes of men who have no true self worth of their own, for long enough. Fuck you, because I AM good enough, and WAY too good for the likes of any of you. I no longer need anyone elses' love or validation except my own. I would hate you all to my grave, but that would require energy & thought & I have no more of those for any of you. It would also require the absence of love and the presence of judgement, and if truth be told, I actually pity all of you. You will remain forever trapped in a shell of an existence that holds nothing for you except more misery and unhappiness. To live inside the ego is to never know true love. Good luck with that.
I take full responsibility for accepting & attracting all of these things into my life, and for the long hard road I have subjected my own self to. I forgive everyone for everything and realize I did all of this to myself. I thank myself for all of the lessons. I see the true light of my own being, and will accept nothing less from now on than what I truly deserve and am capable of - greatness and abundance in all things.
We are shaped by our environment, it is true, from the time we are born. There were many things we had no control over then, but do now. We can't choose our parents or our family, but we CAN choose a different way of seeing the world other than what we were taught. We can learn to love differently, be better people, evolve, stop hating and judging constantly, and never stop striving to lift each other up in our daily lives. For we are all in this together and if one of us goes down it is shame on ALL of us.
So please for the sake of yourself and the rest of the world - never stop striving for the real you inside, your authentic self, who you were truly meant to be. It has been a long prison sentence for me, but today I finally got paroled. Viva le' Hunter!
