Yes, it couldn’t have worked out any better that the subject of today’s blog was named Bridget Bailey. It just goes so nicely with “Big Bitch”, which is humongously what this poor excuse for a human being is. But I digress. Let’s start from the beginning.
About a week before my scheduled arrival in Yosemite, I received a complimentary confirmation of my reservation via email. Looking at the dates, something didn’t seem quite right. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my drug addled Cocoa Puff sized nodule of a brain I was SURE I had added on 2 extra days. So I called. Bridget answers the phone, sounding bored and disinterested and not using the usual bouncy greeting that I was looking foward to - “It’s a great day here at the Mariposa West Yosemite KOA, how can I help you?” She was already off to a bad start with me.
I explained the situation and she pulls up my reservation. Sounding smug she replies, “Nope I got it right here and it only shows the 6 days”. “Hmmm”, I say, “Well OK I will have to go find my physical copy of the confirmation you originally sent me because I’m sure I added on those days”. She seemed to take this as I was challenging her or calling her a liar, because she then got defensive and repeated, “I’m looking at it right here in my system and you only booked the 6 days!” She then practically hangs up on me.
I go find the confirmation I printed out and lo and behold, there are the 2 extra days right below the original reservation. I call back. It sounds like Bridget again, as this person had the same “what the fuck do you want and how dare you call here and make me do my job” kind of tone in her voice. I say, “Hi, this is Eli Hunter and I just called a few minutes ago about my reservation. I found my original confirmation copy and I DID book those 2 extra days”. There is a pause and she replies in THE MOST snotty and haughty voice possible, “You must have talked to Bridget before because I have NO idea WHAT you are talking about”.
Now at this point I’m getting rather tired of being treated this way, especially when I have done nothing to these people. I’m just trying to get my reservation straightened out and go merrily on my way; WTF is their problem? Note to everyone out there - if you work with the public, give good customer service ok? It’s like head; if you get any service at all you’re at least somewhat satisfied, but if you get GREAT service, you will definitely come back.
I then say, “OK, well can I talk to Bridget then?” Rude Bitch #2 replies, again in the most snotty way possible, “Bridget is out in the campground helping some people who can’t get their cable hooked up; I have no way of knowing HOW LONG she will be”. I think to myself, “Fuck you bitch, did I ask you where she was or what she was doing? NO! “ Instead I say, this time getting a little testy myself and talking to her like she is a two year old, “Well then, do you think you can have her CALL ME when she DOES get back in?” She promises nothing and then SHE practically hangs up on me.
I wait an hour and no return phone call from Bridget (what a surprise). So I then call back, this time for my 3rd time. Bridget answers and gives no apology or explanation as to why she didn’t call me back. I tell her that I found my original confirmation and it does indeed show the 2 extra days. She starts grilling me - when did I make this reservation, what is the date? I tell her I don’t know, as it doesn’t say on the confirmation. As she obviously thinks I am making this up, I offer to scan & send it to her as proof. Good God, I think. What started out as what I thought was going to be a 5 minute task on my To Do list for the day has suddenly turned into the Spanish Inquisition. She digs “deeper” (whatever this means) into her system and oh NOW she sees what she didn’t bother to check for initially - there are the 2 extra days. I politely say, “Great! Can you email me a copy of tha.....” before I can finish my sentence she interrupts and snaps, “I already emailed the new copy to you.” She is acting at this point like I have defeated her at some game and is being a sore loser, like I planned on making her look like an idiot, that’s what I got up that morning and decided I was going to do. I finally hang up and am able to go on with the remainder of my wonderful day at Escalante Petrified Forest State Park, thinking all is well with the world.
Later on that evening, when my fellow camper has again left his wifi hotspot on and open, I am checking emails and see the new confirmation from Big Bitch Bridget. Never one to let an opportunity pass to tell someone that I received bad service, I respond to the confirmation as follows: “Thanks for the new confirmation. And BTW, I just wanted to let you know that the 2 of you were very fucking rude to me today for no reason whatsoever. Very unprofessional. I’m glad you love your jobs”. Sincerely, Eli Hunter.
Now we come to where I left off in my last post. The next morning I receive a one sentence email from Bridget - “Your reservations have been canceled as your language is inappropriate for this campground”. Now we’re talking a WEEK before I am to arrive in Yosemite National Park at the height of tourist season. She knows that by canceling my reservation this close to my arrival I am not likely to find anything else. WHAT A FUCKING BITCH I rage! I immediately call and ask to speak to the owner. It is Bridget who answers the phone. She asks, “May I tell him who’s calling?” When I tell her “Eli Hunter” she says, “Oh yeah I will transfer you to him but you are SO canceled!” Instead of transferring me, she hangs up on me. I call back. She answers and says, “Can you hold?” and before I can answer she puts me on hold for 30 minutes. I hang up and call back. THIS time, and at this point I know she is looking at the Caller ID at my number, the phone rolls to their “leave a message” recording. I leave a message telling her that she can hang up on me all day long but I WILL find out the owner’s name, I WILL speak to him, and I AM calling the KOA corporate office in Montana to get them involved.
I call corporate in Montana and tell “Annie” the whole story. She promises to look into it and call me back no later than the next morning. I send her copies of the emails between Bridget & I and I fully cop to having used the F word, explaining that Bridget and her associate’s behavior fully warranted me being so upset and that people like that have no business working in a customer service related position.
The next morning I am packed and pulling out of Escalante when my phone rings. It is Annie. She tells me that the Mariposa KOA is NOT going to reinstate my reservation due to my language. When I ask her, “Well what about Bridget’s behavior? Why is what SHE did acceptable but I get thrown out on my ass for using one cuss word?” She replies, “Well I wasn’t there when you spoke to her, I wasn’t privy to that conversation”. She then tells me that they have another KOA in the Yosemite area and she gets online for me since I am driving and checks availability. I am SURE there will be nothing, but she finds that, oddly, they have space available. She books me at the other location and then as an add-on says, “The Mariposa KOA has also requested to us that you make no further contact with them and that you not go there for any reason”. I then replied, “Well I wasn’t there when you spoke to her, I wasn’t privy to that conversation and since they didn’t tell ME that, I definitely WILL still be going there to have a chat with the owner because Bridget needs to be fired”.
I spent the next 2 days satisfying my juvenile side by sending emails to Bridget, saying various things like how I was a big shot writer out of New York and I had a HUGE following and I was going to stage a protest outside of their KOA complete with signs and bullhorns for the whole entire week I was going to be there, letting everyone know what a huge bitch she was and that no one should stay at their shitty KOA. I also kindly told her that karma was a bitch and so was she, and to have a fucking fuckety fuck fuck great day! When later relaying this story to my younger daughter, she congratulated me and said that she was now officially more mature than her 51 year old mother. I proudly replied, “Thanks, I take that as a compliment!”
Since I’m sure the Mariposa Yosemite KOA have now blocked my email address from any further correspondence, anyone wishing to tell Bridget what you think of her and this whole incident, their email address is: koa@sti.net. And my new reservation at the other Yosemite KOA? Now I know why they had availability - it is 20 miles further south of the park, badly run down, and you have to PAY for wifi! Oh well, c’est la vie!
Until next time, I am somewhere out here, living small and loving it largely.
Eli
