(Who knew that Moab's slogan would be an apt name for the first stop on my trip?)
I then drove 2000 miles to Ohio to seek respite with my family - yeah that worked out super. Instead of being caring, supporting, understanding, and loving of my current plight which included now being "homeless", they turned on me like a pack of wolves. I won’t rehash it but the only thing I can surmise from their behavior was that it was based out of fear for me. They thought I was crazy for what I was doing, irresponsible, needed to “get a job” and live like everyone else. What they didn’t understand was that those things were no longer possible for me. Suffering from some major anger and PTSD is not really conducive to working around people or having a “regular” job. So I left Ohio and headed south to Florida to be with my older daughter for awhile and regroup. Leaving my negative, hateful family behind, perhaps for the last time, filled me with great sadness in spite of their treatment of me.
I spent a wonderful month in Florida - I even hand stitched curtains for the camper for Christ's sake, I was so relaxed! I finally wistfully headed home all along the southern coast of the U.S. which was incredible - I had never been to New Orleans for instance. The panhandle of Florida also rocks BTW, as does Biloxi, MS! The bugs and heat were less fantastic, however, and I was glad to finally cross back over the border to Colorado. Also, at the risk of offending you ego puffed up Texans, I found nothing to “God Bless Texas” about. It’s like driving through Kansas, only bigger and longer. Jesus Christ it takes hours of driving to look at the map and feel like you made any progress at all.
I spent much of last summer texting and emailing with my husband, who every April for the past three years has a meltdown of some sort and chooses to tell me how much he hates me and how I ruined every aspect of his life. Apparently I am some sort of evil witch who unknowingly goes around and purposely smashes others’ dreams, goals, desires, happiness & lives. Who knew? So yeah, every April I guess we are going to go through this until I either leave for good or he figures out what the fuck it is about April that makes him freak out.
My husband had moved out of our rental home last summer about the time I left and rented a warehouse for his classic cars. He was staying in a friend’s condo while the guy worked out of state. He said he wanted to work things out with me (again), so when I returned to Colorado I pulled up to the warehouse and stayed. And stayed. And stayed. September turned to October and then November. The landlord said he didn’t mind my being there, but that I should pull the camper INTO the warehouse to stay warmer. I thought this was a great idea and my husband agreed. We made room and in Hammy went. I did all this and was willing to live this way because I just wanted my husband to love me. Instead he spent the next 8 months virtually ignoring me and doing nothing to work on our relationship. The guy who was working out of state came back to his condo and my husband was then left without a place to live so he moved into the “crack shack” that was located in front of the warehouse that had formerly been occupied by various homeless people, sex offenders, and crackheads. It was nothing more than a glorified Tuff Shed that had been added on to, a bathroom and shower put in, and siding added to make it look like a tiny house. It was/is pretty much disgusting and as I write this he is still living there. I spent one of the worst Colorado winters in recent memory living in an unheated warehouse. My camper was heated so I was fine and toasty, but the water sometimes froze and there was no bathroom or shower. I used a porta potty and went to the nearby rec center to take showers. But never let it be said that I am not a tough old broad, so I literally weathered the storm. Then April came and Michael freaked out again, so it was time to go. This year I was actually the one who initiated the divorce talk, as I am tired down to my bones of living like this. But again, I left before any papers got signed or filed. I’m a firm believer in getting the fuck away from crazy people. Being on the road brings me much needed peace and solace, so on May 26th in the year of our Lord 2014 I headed out again after planning my trip for months.
I’ve been gone a week today and already I have received an email from my husband wanting to “work on things” again when I get back. I have replied that I am tired of the “push me pull me” routine that he has spent the last five years putting me through and that I have virtually spent 30+ years of my life letting men rule me, abuse me, control me, manipulate me, smash and ruin MY hopes, dreams, goals, and happiness. This time I am Norma Rae standing on the table with the “Union” sign in my hand. This time I am the guy in the movie Network who is mad as hell and is not going to take it anymore. This time in my life now is going to be ALL ABOUT ME. I’ve decided to finally actually BE the selfish bitch I have always been accused of being and do what the fuck I want to with my life. I might have 99 problems, but as of right now, men are not one of them any longer.
So as I sit here in the lovely shade of my campsite @ the Moab KOA, a wonderful breeze blowing over me as the dogs sleep peacefully at my feet, Oogway the baby tortoise exploring the nearby terrain whilst I keep a watchful eye on him, I ponder the 2nd year of this lifestyle of mine. I look out over the majestic terrain that surrounds my site, listening to the birds and bugs doing their thing while the rest of the world is slaving at their 9 to 5 and I wonder - who is really the crazy one here? I live in a 12x6 home that I can take with me just about anywhere, and in it I have absolutely everything that one person needs to be happy. I have my books, movies, music, electricity, computer, phone, wifi, clothes, food, a stove, running water, and a wonderful comfy bed. Yeah I have to use public bathrooms and showers but so what? I also have no water bill or mortgage. The only rent I pay is about $35/day for my campsite. I have the dogs and Oogie to keep me company, I meet happy nice people on the road every single day where everyone else is glad to be away from the rat race of the world for a little while. I have the moon & the stars as my ceiling at night - I mean c’mon people is THIS not what it means to be truly living?
Til next time, I am somewhere out here. Living small but loving it largely.
Eli
(These are only a few photos, but for the full Monty of all of my adventures you can view the complete album by Following me on Facebook @: facebook.com/eli.hunter.94)
(Another good "sign" that my trip was off to a good start - my kind of place! Located just off the main drag in Moab)
Arches National Park
Arches National Park
Hammy & Jack in Moab
