"A man's character is his fate" - Heraclitus
Ah, yes. In this sweet verbage alone, I can take solace and revenge in knowing that no matter what, and without my having to do anything, a certain man whom I have come to despise as of late seals his own fate by the very nature of who he is. For because of who he is, he is doomed to spend his life alone. Or, at least, I hope to God he does. I pray there's not a woman left alive who is as ignorant or naive as I once was that doesn't see him coming from a mile away and run for her life.
Men. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em. I am, of course, talking about exes. The only good thing about them is that they ARE exes and we have successfully extricated ourselves from them. We want to believe this, but alas it can never totally be true, especially if they continue to try and control, manipulate, or basically just weasel their way somehow into still being a part of our lives. And so we are forced to spend our days, blissfully having thoughts of failed brakes or thrown backs, root canals, and broken toes stubbed on furniture in the middle of the night. Knowing that we ourselves will be forever tormented by them, it serves as temporary respite at the very least.
I know that from our greatest enemies comes the greatest opportunity for learning. I also know that I still have alot to learn. Not reacting to his inane, banal, condescending, sermons remains a lesson I have not yet mastered. Why they still even provoke me to such rage is a mystery to me, as most of the time I can laugh him off, amazed that he seems 2B the only one who believes the bullshit he spews. He must spend countless hours this way, carefully analyzing, rationalizing, and condoning his thought processes, only to have me see right thru him B4 he even opens his mouth. But somedays he catches me off guard and I spew like Krakatoa, unable to hold in my disgust at being patronized so and treated like a total idiot with whom he holds no respect for whatsoever, especially while telling me how very much he DOES respect me! That, I can never tolerate and will never tolerate.
And so, since he will likely never change unless a full frontal lobotomy takes place, it is therefore up to me to change and take the road he is not capable of - the higher one. Most days it is an easy, winding, green and pleasant one, not difficult at all to simply ignore him and carry on my merry way. But other days, like these recent ones, he serves as a sad reminder to what I once was and where I once was in my life. Perhaps that is why he evokes such horror and disdain from me, brings out the worst in me; because I don't ever want to be reminded of what it was like to live in the hole, the shadow, of him.
