Over the holidays, my children and I were doing some scrapbooking and photo albums, and I ran across some old photos of me from 15-18 yrs. Ago. At first we laughed about my hair and huge glasses, and then I suddenly realized that I didn’t recognize or even remember that time in my life. “It seems like another lifetime ago” I remarked, and this got me to thinking. Even though it is my belief that we live many lifetimes in order to become enlightened and therefore eventually no longer have the need to reincarnate into a physical form, it occurred to me that perhaps there are several lifetimes within each single lifetime. Eras or decades in which we slowly evolve, for better or worse, into the people we are today. When we’re children, our only concerns are for feeling secure and loved and looking after our favorite toys and nuturing our friendships with the kids in the neighborhood. During our teenage years we become obsessed with independence and freedom and “getting away” from the confines of our parents, along with good times and partying with our friends before it is all over much too soon after graduation when everyone has to “grow up” and we move on to the next “serious” chapter of our lives. In our 20’s we’re concerned with college or our careers, some of us marrying and starting our families. Our 30’s seem consumed with the acquisition of property and other material things that we mistakenly believe will fulfill us, along with seeing our children to the gate of THEIR teenage years.
It wasn’t until my 40’s, now, looking back over those old photos, I realized that at the time I had no idea what living really was. It was as if I had been on this treadmill, the rat race of life. I felt at first sad that I had “wasted” all of those years that could have been spent in a greater fulfillment of my spiritual soul. But then in the second instant I smiled, because I knew, as Oprah often states on her show, that “I had done the best I could at the time with what I had to work with” and given everything, I had come through it all pretty OK. It definitely could have been a lot worse, had I taken one turn or another in my life. Something seemed to have guided me all these years to where I found myself now.
As I closed the photo album on that chapter of my life, I hugged my girls and relished the moment. As hard as some of my life has been, the best is truly happening right this minute. Here’s to all of you in the new year. May we all work harder at living in the moment of right now.
